It's not wack to feel sexy when hairless and perfumed, etc. For another example, corsets are restraining and a relic of less-than-enlightened times--but who doesn't feel sexy wearing one? You *know* you look good, that's why you feel sexy. (And that you've been prepping for it.)

I can be perfectly comfortable unshaved and unmakeuped and even--gasp--still wearing my glasses during the naughty deeds, but only after my guy has seen me in a more presentable state. My boyfriend seems to not care too much, but is a bit more eager if I'm freshly shaved. The same goes for him--I think shorts are hideous, and now that it's cold and he's wearing pants (and letting the stubble stick around longer), I find him sexier.

Like sex too much and often to feel I need it to be "perfect"; I think there's a time and a mood to different kinds of sex. I tend to just keep myself groomed to my own level of expectation and that keeps me feeling sexy - whatever that level is varies on the person, I imagine and is what makes you feel comfortable, whether that is dressed to the Ts at all time or unshaved and partially washed. My thought is you'll always be as sexy as you feel; and if you are looking to your partner for that well, it's going to be pretty rough goings. They have moods too!

Yeah, there are men like Sam around, but they only feel that a woman should look that good so it makes THEM look good. It's not about the woman per se. It's not my belief that your man should be happy with whatever you give him, because that's awfully one-sided as well. To keep a happy perspective, there's going to be an ebb and flow with how much time each partner is willing to make themselves amenable to the desires of the other. I mean, my boy loves to see me all dolled up, with heels and makeup, but he would never expect that to be a default. And the balance is, he still finds me hot in glasses, unwashed hair and a shapeless T-shirt. And I wouldn't expect that any partner, regardless of gender, should have to put up with sub-standard grooming based on what the two of you usually find acceptable. If daily showers have been the norm, and then he stops doing that; well, that is just Wrong - you know what I mean? I hate the conventional view that once you have "got" someone, that the way you show respect to having them in your life is , hah! is to let yourself go to pot. I guess if he met you, and you led him to believe that you ARE one of those women that are always perfect, you are in to find a way to let him down in an easy way LOL, but otherwise, if he's a grown-up, in the true sense of the word (not like Sam), he wouldn't think any less of you if he saw you didn't wear makeup to go to bed!

Ah, but I digress - the short answer is: No, I don't have feel I have to be perfect to get it on. And yes, sometimes, I do put on that corset and heels to get it on!

My only primary concern with pre-sex preparation is simply to be clean. Sure I get all dolled up sometimes when I'm going to see someone, but I've never felt it to be necessary. I guess I'm a natural kinda gal anyway, though,

I do have a thing against perfume. If I'm going to have sex with someone, I want to be able to smell THEM, not their perfume. It's part of experiencing that other person more fully.

Nah, not a bad thing at all. Remember, part of feminisms manifesto is the right to self determination which means we each get to decide what works for us. And sometimes I do like to get all foofy and femme before sex. Shave, perfume, honey dust, the works! And other times it's just as nice to get down and dirty in the morning before you've even brushed your teeth!